Some lovely hockey art

I thought I would share this hockey master-piece with the CttH masses. You know bring a bit of culture to you all. It will be important in later life. So thank me now for showing off my brothers art-work.

Where are they RIGHT now...

Where are they RIGHT now...

Steven Lynch is giggling like a school girl to a dirty joke.

Dino Bauba recommends:

“Iain Bowie's mums macaroni cheese”
“ Using rocks in stead of razor blades, it gives you the added wolf man look”
“six shots of Absinth and then you're ready to play some ice hockey!”
“ Using a Caribou in stead of a turkey for Christmas dinner”
“100 metre sprinting, comes in handy when running from Russians”

The 2 Man Advantage

A great episode of the two man advantage. Check it out

Amazingly False Stats

Some stats/truths that aren't exactly 100% accurate but totally should be:

Bison: Did you know that the Bison's logo is loosely based on Mark Bernard

Belfast: GM Todd Kelman owes ctth a buck

Cardfif: Jason Silverthorn still hasn't paid off those student loans

Coventry: JF Perras was once mistaken for Richard Hammond by German tourists

Edinburgh: Dino Bauba is the father of the Caps young Brit 3rd line

Hull: Audley Harrison was once a Hull season ticket holder

Manchester: Alex Dunn was Michigan junior Scrabble champion

Newcastle: Jez Lundin auditioned for Jamie Bell's role in Billy Elliot

Nottingham: The Panthers are the only club Dan Tessier has ever wanted to play for

Sheffield: The Panthers, sorry Steelers are the only club Dan Tessier ever wanted to play for

Recycled Lobby Chart Of Truth

The truth about David Longstaff's long and glorious hockey career. Here we see ALL the positives and negatives through-out his playing days.

(Recycled from our season 08/09 issur #1)

Facebook Groups You Must Join: #2

Greg Chambers is a points scoring machine!

Why should you join this group? I will tell you why. It based on pure facts. No lies in this one. Everything on it, other than someone commenting that Greg Chambers is their long lost cousin, is believable. If you choose to believe that one certain poster then its on you. Anyway even the group title gets straight to truth and the very sharp point. Greg Chambers IS indeed a points scoring machine on a less than perfect team. It even has a very lovely Greg Chambers mug shot picture. So if you like Greg and want to see it you have to join up.

The UK's #1 Jarvis

THE UK's VERY BEST

Have you ever wondered who the UK's number one Jarvis was? Has it ever kept you awake at night as you struggle to come to terms with such a heavy weight and annoying decision. Well worry no more hockey fans because here at CttH mansion we have taken on this mighty challenge to discover once and for all who really is Britain's best Jarvis.

WES JARVIS VS JARVIS COCKER

Personality:

Wes - He knows his role very well on the Devils, he plays the game with heart and soul and for me that goes a long way.You never need to ask him where the passion is. He obviously takes pride in what he does and I think that will translate over to the fans. He is sensible on the ice well most of the time, he did willingly choose to fight Brad Voth twice last season. Wonder what it is like in their dressing room now, do Voth and Jarvis have a giggle and tickle over their previous violent rivalry? Answers on a post-card please. No seriously ChecktotheHead wants to know if they are B.F.Fs now. Do the play backgammon or hang out at each others house to watch Deal or no Deal on a regular basis? We want to know. Points 0

Jarvis - Jarvis Branson Cocker is best known for fronting the band Pulp.But Cocker is also renowned for his witty charm and cultural scene observations. Does anyone else remember his parody of 'Common people' on Spitting Image? No?, just me then. Jarvis is a unique individual and that could all be down to being brought up in an almost exclusive female environment so he must have the patience of a saint or ability to drown out mindless 'TV Soap' psychobabble that women love to chit chat about. Its true, so true! At my last job the women there spoke about three topics, TV soaps, weight-loss and how they hate their husbands. How Jarvis put up with that growing up I will never know. He wins this one on that fact alone. Points 1

Good-looks:

Wes - Is it just my wonky twenty six year old eyes fooling me or does Wes Jarvis on his Cardiff Devils bio-page closely resemble Channel 5's premier vehicle review show '5th gear's veteran host Tiff Needell. Look, go see it when you get home. Load up the Devils website find Wes' biography page and let the Tiff Needellness overwhelm you. Separated at birth mmmm-hmmmm I think so. OR how about this for thinking outside the box. Maybe Wes really is a Wes Needell and is using the surname Jarvis to prove to everyone he can make it on his own. He doesn't need his "fathers" fame to get him on the career map. He is a clever, independent man, he doesn't need nobody to look after him. Maybe the box is there for a reason, we shouldn't think outside the box anymore. Points 1

Jarvis - Far to skinny but then again he always has been. He has those in deep thought eyes, you can see something is going on in that brain of his and his chiseled square jaw line is something that make the ladies go weak at the knees, Am I right ladies or am I right? Despite this his skinny body bulk is a serious put off. Get to McDonald's Jarvis. Points 0

Fitness:

Wes - He clocks up the games and doesn't spend long sitting down resting those long legs of his in the penalty box either. CttH fully believe he is a dedicated athlete. He rips it hard at the gym. He pounds out the miles on the tread mill and he skips like Mike Tyson. The new Mr.Motivator with the spandex suits only used at home. Points 0

Jarvis - Its all about taking on Michael Jackson oh yeah. He had belief in his mighty athletic ability, he knew he could take Michael one on one. Even if Jackson was pretending to be god at that point Jarvis knew the lord almighty was on his side. For his Brit Awards invasion of the stage he should have been knighted. He also avoided the stage security quite well. Nimble on his feet and all that. Jarvis wins this round. Points 1

Style:

Wes - He wears his hockey uniform well, he fills it out well. I mean his 222lbs 6'4' frame is more than suited to a hockey jerseys widthy proportions. He also wears the black Devils polo-shirt in a very, stylish classy manner. No sign of head gear though or accessories. 0 points

Jarvis - A Brit-pop icon that swept the nation with his embarrassing father or uncle at a close friends wedding reception style. Some people loved it others copied it whilst others only want me to talk about his cool glasses or sports coats. He also been known to show off in the odd flat-cap. We love flat Caps. Jarvis 1 point

Scoring Ability:

Wes - A stay back D man that looks after his own. I believe he is a family man, he has a gal back home. He's here to play hockey, stop the shots and get the points. It is what he really cares about. He doesn't need to score to be successful. Wes 0

Jarvis - Was in a rock band, chicks love a rocker. It doesn't matter what he looks like being in a band is cool, super cool. He could score with anyone, I'm surprised a certain Mrs/Miss/Ms Kensit never took a piece. Their is no better way to attract a female than being a hit in the charts. Jarvis 1

A shock result but you know you agree with it. The under-dog came game in true British style. Jarvis Cocker the countries greatest Jarvis. Rejoice.

An Away Game Guide - Sheffield

Sheffield
Population: Borough & City 530,300
Founded - 8th century

Sheffield Steelers Home Venue
Sheffield Arena
Broughton Lane
Sheffield
S9 2DF
England
Tel/ 0114 256 2002

Game Day Ticket Price:
Adults £14.95 / Students/Conc £10.50 / Family £43.00

Flights/Bus Journeys
See your local bus time-table, do something for yourself!

Pre-game drink:
You can't go wrong with going to the Arena a little bit earlier and picking up one of the wonderful Super-Pints.2 Pints in 1 It's fantastic.

Post-Game Pints:
A few hotels within 5 minutes walking distance of the Sheffield Arena, just pretend you are staying there and you'll be set up for the night.

Best Arena food:
Go with the hot dogs, very tasty and satisfying. In fact buy two at a time because you will want another after the first.

Stuff to do:
The Sheffield Ski Village is a great place to learn to Ski or Snowboard if you are bored and wondering what is their to do in Sheffield just before a game. Or if you are there a bit longer go why not visit the old Turkish bath off Glossop Road.

Anything else of note:
Don Valley stadium is nearby and you can easily gain access 24/7.
Seriously you can climb the turn styles and go in for a run or a sit down at any time of the day or night. CttH does not condone un-authorised midnight athletics meetings, unless we are taking part (again).

Starting Six - Straight From The NHL

Straight from the NHL



Joaquin Gage

He joined the Ayr Eagles for the 01/02 ISL season. The previous year he had the joy of pulling on the Edmonton Oilers jersey. He arrived in the UK with a huge reputation and wage demand. Proved himself as a top performer


Eric Cairns

Tough guy Cairns iced in over 30 games for the London Racers during the infamous NHL lock-out season. He left his mark on the UK game after trying to knock everyone's head off.


Nick Boynton

Another NHL lockout acquistion. He skated in 19 games for the Nottingham Panthers. He was probably the biggest name and most talented player to play here during the lock-out.


Wade Belak

Belak chose to play for the Coventry Blaze after the NHL and NHLPA failed to reach an agreement. He wanted to play and the UK suited him. He once said the Fife Ice Arena was a hell hole. Ctth agrees.


Scott Nichol

Yet another lock out signing. He played for the London Racers and put up 9+19 in 24 games for the Capital based club. His brother lived in the UK at the time and he thought he would visit him for a winter.


Steve McKenna

The 6'8 D man was a Nottingham Panther for 49 games. He played with Mario Lemieux, he played with Jaromir Jagr, he played with Paul Moran.

WE ARE BACK!

After a crash-crisis and mass time constraints hit us early season our plans to go nation wide with a CttH magazine his the skidz. We put out one glossy, special, amazing, fancy issue and that was that. Deal done, no more CttH. Oh how sad we were. Well some of us were, others partied like it was 1999. Anyway, I have a little bit of time on my hands now and I thought I would kick start some life back into the old CttH blog of grandness. I will try my best to keep up the very low, ill-informed and petty standards you expect from us. So lets get straight on with it:


Secret Life Of Jonathon Phillips - Sheffield Steelers

Did you know:

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